In which I remember, I remember when I lost my mind

May 23, 2011

I’m trying to focus on external things: the cool breeze, the graceful habit of the old pine tree nearby, the feel of the sun on my arms.

Today, I met with a doctor to get a second opinion on my condition, and essentially, what I heard was: “If this chemo doesn’t work, I got nothin’.” it was hard to ask a lot of salient questions after that, but I managed a couple.

I want a second, second opinion. I am not done with this life yet.



  1. It seems to me that “I am not done with this life yet” is the only second opinion that really matters. i am sending as many good thoughts your way as I can. I should be sending brownies your way too. I actually made them, but then didn’t manage to get to the post office, so I sacrificed them to my freezer and will try again.

    • I appreciate the thought, and the attempted brownies!

  2. “I got nothin?!” Come on … do the interwebs not work at this Dr.s office? If you are not getting any satisfaction in CA, I will fly you out East and we will get you a 2nd opinion at Sloan Kettering and a 3rd at Dana Farber. I’m not done with you yet either!

    • I’m talking to my oncologist tomorrow. I need to find some more options.

  3. Then clearly we will have to make sure the chemo works. All good and healing thoughts your way.

    • Send away! I’m here to receive.

  4. I agree that you not being done yet is all anyone, especially you needs to know. Your intention to live a long life is way more meaningful that statistics.

    • It’s true–the chances I’ve been given for recovery, 30 – 40%, are a statistic, not my own personal chances.

  5. This life ain’t done with you either. XOXO

    • Right? I still have so much to complain about!

  6. You are stronger than what that doctor says. There is going to be good news coming for you in this life I just know it. Get more opinions!! Thinking of you xoxox

    • Thank you, Kim. I’m hanging in there.

  7. Screw that doctor!

    Have you considered going here? http://www.cancercenter.com/western-hospital.cfm

    I heard they do far more than the average doctor dealing with cancer.

    Sending love and hugs and cake…

    • I’m going to look into it. I have to see about insurance, etc., but I’m going to look.

  8. I know you’ve heard dozens of suggestions so far, but Houston has the leading cancer research and treatment centres of anywhere else in the world! I’ve had about half a dozen friends go through cancer treatment, some of them started elsewhere, but all gravitated to MD Anderson … and all survived!!! If I can just find a job soon you could come stay with me!

    • I will check it out! And I wish you a fantastic job, regardless. Xo

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